Wake up Telkom!

Dear Mr/Ms Telkom Customer Service Manager,

This letter hereby serves to inform you that you really know how to make it difficult for me to be a customer – and that someone there is clueless.

As a potential business customer for landlines – I require a Business Line Transfer Application form (as I am taking transfer of a few lines from my landlord). Herewith, the steps I have been through this morning:

  1. After a 15-20 minute wait and pressing the option that sounded most logical – I get through to the wrong department.
    1. Thankfully they were kind enough to transfer me to the correct department without me having to listen to that blasted Telkom message-on-hold theme tune, again.
  2. Your Call Centre tells me to go to the closest Telkom branch to get the forms.
    1. ‘Ok – where is the closest branch?’ I ask.
    2. ‘Now that’s a question’ she says. ‘I’m in Durban, so don’t really know’.
    3. ‘I’m in Sandton’ I say.
    4. ‘You can try Fourways, um, um, or Rosebank, or how about Randfontein’ she offers. Randfontein? – No thanks, that’s only a 130km round trip.
    5. ‘Um, no thanks – I’ll go to Rosebank’.
  3. I then ask if I can get the form off the Telkom website. ‘Yes’ is the response. ‘What URL’ I say.
    1. After the next 5 minutes of trying to get a coherent response from the phone jockey (you can imagine the URL versions I was told to try – nothing even close to the actual one), I give up and say – ‘Don’t worry, please email it to me’ – knowing that I’ll just have to find it on the Telkom site myself.
    2. I gave her my email address – carefully.
  4. I eventually find the forms thanks to Google. This is where the fun really begins.
    1. After numerous (like 12) attempts I eventually get the form.
      1. I tried IE after thinking that the site didn’t like Firefox (which I’d expect).
      2. I restarted my browser thinking it had frozen.
      3. Picture this – I went outside with my laptop (holding it above my head) to get better Vodacom HSDPA signal.
      4. I swore.
      5. You get the picture.
    2. The reason that the form was so stubborn – its a 7.35MB file! For a 4 page application form!

Now read carefully please – instead of scanning an existing form and saving it as a crappy looking PDF – how about putting a properly created (in Acrobat) PDF version of the form online. 100kb max = happy potential customer.

Oh – and by the way, I’m still waiting for the emailed version of the form. But, I suspect that your mail server does not allow 7.35MB files to be sent out, does it.

Yours in waiting,
Frustrated (already)

PS – To top it all off, the Application Form is ‘broken’ – ie illegible on pages 3 and 4 where it has not scanned/saved correctly.

PPS – Change your on hold message to – “Please hold while we try and frustrate the crap out of you, again.”

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One response to “Wake up Telkom!

  1. As always Telkom never cease to amaze. I think we should all move accross to one of the other fixed line telecoms service providers. Oh wait…there aren’t any!

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